Dear Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc etc (male) friends,
I feel like I needed to say this. So please read carefully: NO! Cosby does not have and will never have my vote or support, ever again. However, I will forever appreciate what he did as the character Mr Huxtable. The show, the writers and the character he played were responsible for the positive perception of black lives and families on TV, but lets separate the character from the actor. He was not, is not and never will be Mr Huxtable like Harrison Ford isn’t Han solo (although we would like to be believe he is ;)). Like most of us, Mr Cosby has his own life and we do not know what he does when he comes home from his job…
Let me tell you a story:
There were these two girls Anne and Belle. A relative abused Anne when she was just a toddler. With the few words she had she told her family about it, but they didn’t believe it. So she kept it quiet, she did not say anything for years until she came of age. Meanwhile she saw her rapist almost every single day, she lived with that for years. When she hit puberty she started drinking and using drugs. She did everything to get attention.
Now tell me again that she should have said something…
Belle too got sexually abused. The experience was so horrifying that she blocked it out. When she got older a similar event occurred and she started remembering what had happened in the past. When she said something about it to her family and friends they said: it’s all in the past. Forget about it. Till this day, she relives her abuse in her dreams.
Now tell me again how someone can’t remember the exact details of something that happened 20 years ago…
Anne and Belle might be made up. Fictional characters, but I think you know them. She can be your mother, your sister, your cousin, your girlfriend, your best friend, your neighbour and the girl sitting next to you on the train.
Why didn’t she say anything?
Remember when you used to dream that you were standing in front of the class completely naked and you woke up horrified? Telling your friends and family that your personal space, your body was violated and you couldn’t do anything to defend yourself is like that but 1 million times harder and even worse if your rapist is amongst your family or friends or a famous legacy…
You make her feel more ashamed of what happened, you make her feel even dirtier than ever before. You and your fellow rape defenders are making her statement weak so she has to tell the story over and over again, reliving that moment over and over again. Would you like that?
We woke, I hear, but my friend you are not. Because you still choose to believe a black man is not guilty while over 40 women have accused him of rape. If he did it or didn’t do you think he was correct for drugging these women? Would you do the same to your mother or your sister? Would you appreciate it if your best friend would do this to your sister? Would you say “She asked for it”? If you left your sister at a friends house and he rapes her? Will you still say: “You asked for it”?
If your male friend walked around with his torso exposed, because… well it’s his own fucking prerogative to do so, and gets raped, will you still say he is a hoe? Will you still say I’M WOKE if Solange hadn’t shown you that Africa was cool?
Netflix & Get the F out of here
I’m not done; lets get into this Netflix and Chill thing. Do you really think that if a woman comes to your house to watch a movie it gives you the right to demand sex? Is her vajayjay yours? When walking into that said “hotel”, “bedroom” did that made her yours to command? Is she a slave? Did you magically mark her “yours”? So because she came into “your territory” that means you can do whatever you want to her like she is your property… hmm why does this sound so familiar?
I already know what you are going to say; “she was drunk”, “she was on drugs”. Yo seriously I don’t fucking care if she was on anything, she didn’t say YES, so don’t be so entitled to do anything to her body like you own her!
I’m seriously mad at people polluting my timeline saying “This is outrageous. Sara Bland’s killer did not get convicted while there is a video of him killing her and Bill Cosby is getting accused while there isn’t enough prove.” Are you serious? This is not a rhetorical question by the way. I need an answer.
Young, gifted and Black
Ok listen, you can be very proud of your blackness and want to defend every part of this revolutionary movement. You can be all #blacklivesmatter and a feminist too, but don’t be stupid. Don’t, just don’t defend a black men because he is black, just don’t. He is not a good example. You don’t want your son to be looking at his picture on the wall and say: I want to be just like him. He cannot and will not be part of my legacy of #blacklivesmatter and he should not be yours.
Stop saying Woke, stop saying #blacklivesmatter. You my friend need to check yourself and come back when you see that your mothers, sisters and cousins have it hard enough. They are struggling. They don’t need you making it worse by disregarding their pain, like “these white men” that are ignoring your pain because a brother got killed on the streets by a cop.
These women are warriors they have battle wounds. You might not see them on the surface, but they are there. Respect them, support them, defend them, post their pictures on every so called social media wall and use them as an example of greatness, of blackness and most of all an example of womanhood.
Thank you, that’s all.